Having sexual fantasies can be a cause of stress for many people. For some they are afraid to share the fantasies with their partner because they are afraid they won’t understand. For others, the anxiety comes from the fantasy itself. So is it normal to fantasize?
The Quick Answer
The short answer is yes- it is perfectly normal to have sexual fantasies. There are circumstances in which fantasies can take a dark turn and become unhealthy.
What is Healthy
Some of us have diverse tastes, take a look at some of the swinger stories on this site and you will realise that it is quite common, you may also find that many others share the same fantasies as yourself. Fantasies involving role playing and scenarios with celebrities are very common, and completely normal. If you have a fantasy that your partner can help with, such as cheerleader or other role playing fantasies, you shouldn’t be embarrassed to bring this up. Chances are your partner also has sexual fantasies, and you may be able to work something out so you each get a chance to try something you’ve fantasized about.
What is Unhealthy
If your fantasies involve activities that could get you in legal trouble, or if they signal a deeper rooted problem (like rape fantasies), you may want to find the root of these. Rape fantasies are common, but in some people they are the result of a past situation that hasn’t been worked through. If you become obsessed with the fantasy it could become problematic as well. The bottom line is, if your fantasies make you feel uncomfortable or you have a moral objection, you may want to talk through it with a professional. A therapist can help you channel that in to a normal, healthy fantasy instead.
Many men wish they could find a way to last longer in order to
completely satisfy their female partners. There are many drugs on the
market that claim to help this happen, and they are typically costly
and useless. If you want to learn how to delay your ejaculation, here
are some tips that are actually useful.
One product type you can purchase at any sex store that actually does
work is a numbing cream. With these, you use the cream directly on
your penis before sex. The cream works by decreasing the sensitivity
which can help you last longer. The problem with many of these creams
is two fold. One, it may only delay the ejaculation by a few minutes,
and two, it can also numb your female partner making it harder for her
to get off.
Cock rings are designed to cut the blood flow in your penis, creating
an erection that is stronger and will last longer. These can be
purchased at any sex store. Many men assume the cock ring is placed
over the penis and sits at the base of the shaft. They can be used
this way, but it won’t delay the ejaculation. If you use them
correctly they are placed behind the scrotum so the penis and
testicles are confined by it. They can be uncomfortable to get used
to, but can delay your ejaculation for more than half an hour in some
If you are worried about not lasting long enough, consider delaying
activity with you until your female partner is close to orgasm. You
can do this through oral sex and manual stimulation with your hands or
sex toys. This way she is already close and you don’t need to worry
about lasting longer when it comes time for you to play as well.
You may think it’s flattering to think your wife is so hot that you
are tempted to show her off to your friends, but this is never a good
idea. This can hurt your wife, and create many problems in your
relationship. The trust may not be able to be regained easily.
If you are going to do this it should be with your wifes consent, many swinging couples are quite happy to show off each others photos, some are not, you should always discuss and decide what each of you are willing to do,
Having nude photos of your wife isn’t abnormal or deviant. Many women
enjoy sending their husbands naked pictures as a way to keep interest
high. It may feel natural for you to want to show these off to your
friends. However, put yourself in her shoes before you do this. This
will create tension for her among your friends, and it’s a very
private thing that shouldn’t be shared. It can break the trust in your
relationship and eventually harm your sex life to the point of no
recovery. So just keep the photos to yourself.
If you must show off your hot wife, consider carrying some photos of
her in a sexy cocktail dress or other outfit that shows off her
figure. This will flatter her while giving you something to show your
friends. If you want to show her off to your friends, ask her before
you start pulling out photos. You never know, she may be open to a
sexy lingerie show that she allows you to photograph. If this isn’t
going to happen, then you’ll just have to settle for talking instead
of showing. Above all else, remember she is your wife and you should
show her respect.
Female ejaculation, often referred to as squirting, is a phenomenon
that many men are intrigued by. They assume that a woman’s orgasm must
have been great if this happens. Many women on the other hand are
embarrassed by this and when it happens they are shocked and confused.
The fact is, it is natural, and has very little to do with sexual
What Is It?
Researchers are still up in the air when it comes to what this really
is and what causes it. Many theorize that female ejaculation occurs
when a gland inside the vaginal cavity is pressed correctly. The gland
that produces the natural lubricant when a woman is turned on could be
the cause of this, releasing more lubrication than necessary for a
sexual act. Others believe it is urine that is forced out at the
moment of orgasm because of muscle spasms.
When it Happens
A very small percentage of women are actually capable of ejaculation.
Even fewer are able to control it. It has nothing to do with the sex
act being performed, although some women do say that it’s more likely
to happen in some positions over others. This could be because of the
gland placement and how easy it is to access. Women can ejaculate with
any type of orgasm once it has happened.
Making It Happen
While it’s a fantasy for many men, its not something that can be
forced. A woman either can or can’t ejaculate, and there is no magic
formula to force it. It’s not something that can be controlled through
practice. In fact, many pornography scenes with a woman squirting are
filmed while the woman forcefully urinates to give the same visual
With the invention of the internet and web cams, cyber sex has become
a very real problem. While many people can enjoy cyber sex safely,
others can become so addicted that their normal sex life suffers. If
you think you may be addicted to cybersex here are a few things you
How to Tell
Enjoying cyber sex a few times a month, or even a week, may not be a
problem for most. Even if you have cyber sex several times a week you
may not have a problem. By definition, an addiction will take control
of your life and impede on your lifestyle. If you find yourself
missing work, losing friends, or losing sleep because you are having
cyber sex, or thinking about it, then it’s time to seek help.
Cyber sex doesn’t carry the stigma that it once did. There are
treatment programs all over the world for people who suffer from sex
addictions, including cyber sex addictions. In these programs you
learn to control your impulses, have normal and healthy sexual
relationships, and start to rebuild your life.
Who’s At Risk
There isn’t a profile for the cyber sex addict. It can happen to both
men and women of any socioeconomic background. It doesn’t
discriminate. If you’ve had issues with addictions in the past, you
will have a higher probability of becoming addicted to cyber sex.
People with diagnosed sex addictions are much more likely to develop
problems with cyber sex since they have a preexisting exposure.
Having sexual fantasies is a perfectly normal and natural part of the
human sexual experience. While some people have mild mannered
fantasies involving their partners, others have more intense fantasies
that may be more difficult to bring up. So what do you do if you have
a fantasy that your partner objects to? Here are some tips for dealing
with fantasies when your partner isn’t in to it.
If you have fantasies that are bizarre to most people, or aren’t
simple to plan and play out, you need to understand that these may
remain in the realm in the fantasy forever. Unless you can think of a
compromise that will give you feelings of excitement and fulfillment,
you will probably not be able to live them out. Some fantasies should
just stay in that realm.
If your fantasy involves something that may be humiliating or painful
for your partner, you should not expect them to be open to the idea.
You may need to tone down the fantasy or come up with a compromise. If
you can’t come to an agreement, then just agree to disagree and watch
porn when you want to live out the fantasy. If you care for your
partner you are going to respect their feeling and limits and
understand that no means no. Don’t push the issue unless you also want
to push them out of your life entirely.